1-Minute Action For Busy Families - May
Transform despair into overwhelm - one little step at a time
Hey friends!
This May as we take small steps toward courageous action, I’ve got a easy, quick actions to get you started and build your confidence.
Which sounds like a big ask.
Let’s clarify what I mean by ‘courageous’ action
It’s the scary action that might not be nice, but it’s kind. Doing the unpleasant, tedious action that your accomplices have asked of you. Support that feels a little uncomfortable, even a little scary.
Following through knowing the short-term outcome will kind of suck for you personally, but help our most vulnerable accomplices feel safe.
That’s my litmus test when I wake up every morning. What’s the next uncomfortable thing I’m willing to do?
And I’m gonna be honest - often it has me feeling pretty raw and frazzled. Sometimes the results really suck for me as an accomplice.
So how do we choose what’s worth risking?
In the past month, I’ve had not just one, but two self-labeled white ‘allies’ who claimed to be my friends denigrate and sabotage my work.
Why? Because what we do here makes them uncomfortable. Because my work centers people of color, Indigenous people, and disabled people. Because when people I hold social power ask me to take action action, I follow through.
Earlier this month, a white woman who profits off the existence of racism as an anti-racism educator (running a white-centering, savior-based curriclum that I vehemently disagree with) finally admitted to me that she stopped endorsing my work when when I started pushing families beyond book clubs and white comfort.
Another one called for me to be banned from my own child’s multicultural school book festival because I had reposted the work of a Jewish accomplice who wrote a web comic about how we justify the genocide of Palestinians on Facebook.
Wow doing courage sounds horrible, no thanks. What’s the benefit to us? How do we keep from burning out?
No seriously - it’s usually VERY JOYOUS WORK. Satisfying, even when our intiatives flounder and fail. I’m a profoundly happy person. I don’t burn out anymore, and I have a larger capacity for uncomfortable work and challenging parenting issues. I’m prepared and know how to recover. This works makes me stronger.
Recently though, the weird conditional allyship incidents always leave me shaky, feeling (temporarily) isolated and adrift.
So I connect back with my accountability partners, my friends in the Luminary Braintrust, friends like Nat from Come Back to Care, and my needy cats. I do what past-Ashia told me to do during the Summer Luminator (mostly so I’m not a hypocrite). Through it, I reach out to folks whose partnership is not contingent on my willingness to stay quiet.
You can learn how to prevent burnout and recover quickly too, if you join the Summer Luminator (ew that sounded sales pitchy, but it’s true.)
Courage is small actions close to home where you’re willing to lose shitty allies.
When I say ‘take steps toward courage’ I don’t mean you need to handcuff yourself to a tank.
Courage means being willing to be honest with those closest to you. To refuse to cater to the comfort of those with power, even when it costs your comfort, your reputation, and all the bullshit you were told you needed to survive (like the approval of white women, extra cash, or a thigh gap).
If you could change the system, save a life, end a genocide - what is the next smallest step toward discomfort you’d be willing to take?
Get May’s 1-Minute Actions:
Including gems like this (none of which will get you banned from your child’s elementary school!)
Good news - how advocating as a collective makes a difference
Super-quick 10-second templates and petitions to amplify grassroots initiatives
Free resilience training for Asians experiencing racist aggression and interventing to prevent anti-Asian harassment
Joint Israeli-Palestinian peace events, ceasefire advocacy, and famine prevention
Advocacy letter templates to inspire your school to reconsider ‘crazy hair day’
And more!
You are smart and strong and powerful. Whatever your capacity, you’ll find one or two options to make a big impact.
Many of our Quick Actions are compiled by our badass conspirator, Shannon Bresher Shea, author of Growing Sustainable Together. (Amazon affiliate link, since Bookshop is sold out).
Shannon is a climate justice educator, neurodiversity advocate, and parent of 2. Check out her newsletter here!
Coming up next
While all our eyes are on the families in Rafah, we’ll be back with our Family Action Toolkit to help kids process news about Palestine.
You don’t have to do this alone. We’re holding space for these horrors together. Remember to breathe and ground yourself at demonstrations and before contacting your representatives.
Meanwhile, I have ALL THE FUZZY FEELINGS for the 13 folks who voted in last month’s poll, your feedback and ideas.
I tried to make our Quick Actions list a little more concise, but still haven’t found the right software to break it up into shorter pages. Still working on all the other updates I’m one person and have no budget, so it’s gonna… take a while. Thanks for your patience!
While we did lose another supporter this month, I am deeply grateful to the 19 folks who donate to keep these toolkits free for everybody, including our new member, Susan D. You guys rock <3
with you,
Ashia